I’m writing this because I want to write but I don’t know what to write.
I have the energy, I have other ideas in my head, I can’t seem to write.
Know if it’s me, my mood, ADHD. All I know is that I cannot get anything done again. I don’t know why but I can’t get anything done again.
I need to finish my business website specifically, the content. I had to hire someone to do the content for me but things are not going as planned because this person has so many ideas. He’s to be founder of the digital marketing agency also, and that is why I don’t blame him for his ideas.
My hubby also got a job (finally). He’s been looking for this job since he got discharged in July. Thanks to our Filipino neighbor who lives downstairs at our apartment complex, he got a job. He now works at the hospital in front of our house. Nothing fancy, but thank God, they gave him an office. I’m thinking maybe it’s just a spare office. His employer gave him one because he is going to school full-time. I don’t know how he’s going to pull off going to school full-time and going to work full-time.
I told my mother that I would visit her and my brother in Texas for Christmas. Although, I’m torn between my family and happiness. I want to visit them because they are family, but at the same time I can’t leave my husband and my babies here in California. My brother is leaving for the Air Force in January 13 of next year. It’s not December yet but I miss him already. I know for fact that I will get depressed again when I go over there to that part of Texas. Not to mention that my stepdad also is having a hard time because he lost two of his dogs this year. Max died on his couch at home. Rascal got put down on the back of his truck. What poor medical procedures does his vet have. My dad is scarred for life.
My dad’s retired. It seems as if he’s just waiting to die over there. I hope that doesn’t come soon.
I know that this is the time that I should be praying more, especially because Jesus Christ’s birthday is coming up.
My hubbie and I have been neglecting to pray and going to Church every Sunday because of our personal needs. I shouldn’t blame the bipolar and the ADHD, but juggling so much of these isn’t easy.
God, please help me pray more?
Saint Jude, patron saint for hope and desperation, please pray for us.